Long Time Coming...

I meant to write this in, oh, August of 2011.  Sometimes, it takes my brain a bit to catch up.  Also, I had marathon brain the last several months, which (while I have never been pregnant, nor am I now) seems to have the same symptoms as pregnancy brain.

I wanted to extend a huge THANK YOU to Team Pitcher for getting my butt (literally) on track.

I was the gal that thought it perfectly appropriate to have a sugar cookie and a white chocolate coconut mocha for breakfast, and adventure to McDonald's to lunch, and a mini pizza for dinner.  I ate for convenience and not for nutrition.  It wasn't until I enlisted the help of Team Pitcher that I realized just how much what you eat effects how you feel - and ultimately what you do.

With their support and knowledge I was able to pull myself out of the garbage gut gutter, and eat like a person running 40+ miles a week, because I was!!  I felt better, slept better, ran better, and didn't feel the need to have emotional meltdowns every other day.

The new training rules allowed me to still have my favorite treats, but in moderation (ahhhhh, that's the secret).  Working fro-yo into my training schedule was a huge morale boost, and who would deny me that :)

I recommend working with them no matter what your training/life/weight goals are in the New Year.  It will be worth the time and effort (and really, the hard part is done for you).

Hats off to you Team Pitcher - I appreciate you and your guidance so very much!!!

May your day be filled with great advice.

Andrea

Hi I'm Andrea, and this is my speech.

Well, Good Morning to you!!

On Tuesday I got to be a part of a really cool experience.  The Canine Christmas Benefit in Las Vegas.  (No dogs were singing).  BUT, the singers who were singing - were AMAZING!!  All the proceeds of the event went to support the College of Veterinary Medicine at WSU.  They asked me to say a few words, and I did.  I didn't barf, didn't faint, didn't fall, and they clapped when I was done.  SUCCESS!!

This is what I said: (and yes, I had to write down my name so I wouldn't forget).

Good Evening, I’m Andrea from Washington State University and the College of Veterinary Medicine.  I would first like to thank Jacqueline, Dr. Pennell, and all the performers for their efforts to make this evening possible.  What an amazing experience.  I would also like to thank each and every one of you for being here.  Tonight, we have had the opportunity to listen to some of the most gifted performers and voices I have ever heard, and in doing so; we are also helping our furry friends battle cancer.  Our pets, in most cases, are very much a part of our family.  I know at our house (much to my dismay) it was the dog who had the most presents under the Christmas tree.  And, while we do all that we can to make sure our dogs, cats, birds, hamsters, horses, etc are safe and healthy – we cannot protect them against cancer.

At WSU our oncologists work diligently not only to fight existing cases, but also to teach and train the next generation of veterinarians so that they may have the tools to continue the battle. 

At WSU our oncologists work to establish and individualize treatment plans for each and every animal.  To provide the best cancer fighting drug or radiation treatment (or both) for that specific tumor.  Each treatment is unique, as is each case, as is each animal, as is each one of us.

In 2000, our oncologists and radiologists had a mission to treat dogs with head and neck tumors, and ended up serving the human population as well.  In this case, at this time, veterinary medicine was ahead of human medicine.  Dogs with head or neck tumors were brought to WSU from all over the world to be treated.  The smaller of the tumors were treated with Radio Surgery and the larger ones were treated using Intensity Modulated Radiation therapy.  By using imaging through our CT, MRI, and high energy radiation producing machine (the Linear Accelerator) our vets successfully targeted the tumors without damaging the surrounding healthy tissue or spinal cord, which at that time, was unheard of.  Today, this type of technology is used to treat women and children diagnosed with brain, neck, or head tumors, and it all began at WSU with the hope to treat cancer in dogs.

We are asking you today to consider helping WSU’s Veterinary Teaching Hospital upgrade our imaging suite; so that we may continue innovation, education, and the eradication of the disease that effects so many of us.  Cancer.

The WSU Imaging center has been a hallmark program for the College of Veterinary Medicine, advancing science in veterinary imaging for over the past 15 years.  We are acknowledged globally as the pioneer veterinary institution leading the world in small animal and equine imaging.  Our equipment is getting older, and is in desperate need of an upgrade so that we may continue to lead the way.

Upgrading our imaging equipment will allow our veterinarians to detect the presence of cancer earlier.  It will also give us a greater understanding of each tumor so that we can adapt and monitor the success of the treatments, as well as the eventual and hopeful triumph over the disease.

Currently there are 28 veterinary schools in the United States, and WSU is proud to serve as the College of Veterinary Medicine for Nevada.  Whether it is protecting communities in sub-Saharan Africa by vaccinating their animals, or learning how to fight heart disease by studying the hearts of hibernating Grizzlies, or developing innovative ways to fight cancer – WSU will continue to exceed expectations, to passionately teach, to continue to learn, to never stop fighting, to do our best every day, for every species, against every disease, to make you proud to say WSU is YOUR vet school.  Thank you again, and good night.

May your day be filled with proud moments.

Andrea

Airports Make Me Angry!!!

I am not sure what it is about airports, but people turn into assholes in them.  Real.  Legit.  Jerks.

Yes, lady, I do want you to stop your walking, right freaking in front of me, while I am full speed walking. I love stopping short.  Oh, and then you must look around like you are a lost little creature.  It's called numerical order - if you haven't heard of it... GO HOME.  Please, take your time walking by me (as I am trying to get around you) so that you can primp like a freaking peacock in the bathroom mirror that is 5 feet away.  I LOVE that.  OH, and you must stand in the bathroom entrance to text your BFF - naturally, everyone knows that is is place to "hang out."

Sure thing sir, I love to hear you smacking and farting as you sit next to me on the plane.  It is my favorite thing in the whole world - and that center console ... why, you should use the whole goddamn thing!!  No, really - I don't need to set my drink anywhere.  I can just hold it.  And really, even though I am sitting in the aisle, you should probably just vault over me so you can be the veeeeerrrrrry first person off the plane.  I mean really, you are *how do they say* muay importante.  Oh, and make sure to ram my lap top and Kate Spade bag with your shitty vinyl computer case to fit it in the overhead bin.  Really, sir, you are AWESOME!!!!

Alright. Done now.

May your day be jerk free.

Andrea

Cat Shit Cookies. My Favorite.

I don't really know what you call them.  Alright, maybe I do.  I think the general population refers to them as "Chocolate Peanut Butter No-Bake Cookies" - "Cat Shit Cookies" in the Farmer Household.

They are by far my very favorite cookies... although if you had one of these and a frosted sugar cookie side by side it may take me a few minutes to decide.

Here is the recipe - eat them as fast as you can.  Don't share with anyone.  Merry Christmas.

• 2 cups sugar
• 4 tablespoons cocoa
• 1 stick butter
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 1 tablespoon vanilla
• 3 cups oatmeal
• Waxed paper

In a heavy saucepan bring to a boil, the sugar, cocoa, butter and milk. Let boil for 1 minute then add peanut butter, vanilla and oatmeal. On a sheet of waxed paper, drop mixture by the teaspoonfuls, until cooled and hardened.

May your day be filled with the joy of cat shit.

Andrea

The importance of a good sidekick.

I am usually the sidekick.  It is a position that I relish.  I don't have to cause ALL the trouble.  I can cause *just enough.*  Plus, I am great in the supporting role.

A good sidekick is so hard to find.  You need to find someone that is fun, smart, willing to take a back seat to your crazy antics, and also loyal - you need someone fiercely loyal.  This may be the most important quality, (that and they cannot, under any circumstances, upstage you).

A sidekick is someone you can go to when you have the best idea EVER, and they will put on their magical underpants and make it happen.  All the while, reminding you that it, indeed, is an awesome idea.

And, so today folks, I bring you perhaps one of the best sidekicks I have seen, recently.  Her name is Vicy, and I love her.  She is the ying to Tommy's yang, and by being the best sidekick she could possibly be - she, in my eyes, steals the show. 

(Disclaimer - I first met Tommy when he was ranting about the Norweigan butter crisis.  Then I had to check out "his famous celebrity".  English is obviously not their first language - and they are as good with lyrics as I am)

May you find your sidekick and live happily ever after,

Andrea

Obsessed.

Not all that long ago, I was searching for a good book.  I'm pretty sure that posted such on Facebook - that's really how I obtain all my advice.  Not soon after that post, I received a text from Ms. Katie JG informing me that I should read the Outlander series (If I had not yet done so) and if I do not, then she may certainly die.

Wanting nothing more than to prevent her demise - I jumped right in.  Now, here's the part where I tell you how much I love them.  I do love them.  LOVE THEM.  Did I mention these books are beasts?  Over 1,000 pages each, about time travel, and magic rocks... screaming Andrea (ya - I wasn't so sure about them either, at the beginning).  I don't only love them - I am a little obsessed.  I want to talk about them, and discuss characters, and situations, and Scotland, and OH. MY. GAWD. isn't Jamie Fraser the most wonderful male character ever written.  EVER!!!

I am now on book four, and I really can't put them down.  There are eight in the series (I know what I'm doing all Christmas break!!) I'll keep you posted.  In the meantime, go and get these books.  Start reading, and then find me on Facebook to chat.  Really, I cannot wait.

... and now, I will begin to look for some magic rocks.

May your day be filled with "oh dear golly I can't put it down" books.

Andrea

Downsizing.

This is going to sound incredibly ... jerkish.  Maybe.

I used to be the gal in the office that had a gift for everyone.  The last couple years I have knitted scarves for everyone, knitted wash cloths, made individual goodies, given them spices, and last year I believe everyone got calendars.  I'm not talking one or two folks here... I'm talking 15+.

I should state that I don't give gifts to get gifts - but maybe a "thank you" would be nice.  In some cases, I worked for hours and hours to bring you a nice gift.  You, should maybe, offer some thanks.

This year -  I am limiting my Christmas Cheer.  I'm downsizing.  Big Time.  It gets kind of old - to ALWAYS be the one that goes the extra mile.  I'm not in the mood to be overly thoughtful this year.  I'm sticking to family and close friends, and if the rest of you are bent that I didn't provide you with a holiday gift, by all means, I'll forward you the youtube video that teaches you how to knit.

For you know what they say, "give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime."  The same applies to scarves, for reals.

Christmas Songs - The Remix.

Last night, I was finishing up (or okay maybe working through) my Christmas cards.  Shiloh was on the couch watching TV when I burst out with, "You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not holler; I'm telling you why!"

Shiloh scoffs at my rendition.  "Andrea, they DO NOT say holler."

"In the Andrea Remix version they do..."
"That is ridiculous, it's CRY"
"but I already said that!"
"Well, obviously you don't know your Christmas songs."

I do not have a way with lyrics.  I know parts of lots of songs, and the other parts I make up.  I come by it naturally though (Take me down to the bare-ass city - I'm looking at you Dedra).  I figure, as long as your singing who cares if you get it right.  We aren't auditioning for American Idol, right? 

You thought it was "dirty deeds and dunder chief" too?  Phew.

May your day be remixed!

Andrea

Hanging up my apron.

It hasn't been an easy choice, but one that I needed to make.

After January, I will no longer be a Pampered Chef consultant.  I'm hangin' it up. 

In 2012, I am going to spend more time doing things I love and being with people I enjoy.  While I love to cook - I just didn't enjoy spending so much time away from home (especially since I travel so much with my real work, anyhow).  It was fun at the beginning, but I started to feel like people ran when they saw me coming (and no one wants to feel like that).

I'll still be able to hook you up in a pinch (I think I have a six month grace period), and if you are just dying to have a show - you have until the end of January (or you'll have to be on my super duper special list).

*big breath* Ah, I feel so much better having announced this.  Now, I can focus on running, knitting, watching whodunits, and maybe the occasional road trip with Shiloh (Jesus, help me).

May your day be filled with relief.

Andrea

This is my excuse!

I know that people say, "no excuses."  BUT - sometimes, sometimes they are legit.

I have many friends that want me to join them at their favorite exercise class: zumba, kickboxing, step class, hip hop aerobics, and yoga.  Here's the thing.  I know my limitations (we all have them).  I cannot follow directions in a class.  I get all jumbled up, when people are on their left I'm on my right, when they zig I zag, when they're up I'm down (if you had PE with me as a child you may remember my awesome abilities) - It really isn't pretty.  My brain short circuits - so I sit out. (or rather, run my buns off).

Need a visual.  Please, watch the video below.  I find it hilarious, because THAT, my friends, is me... in ANY sort of exercise class.

May your day be filled with grace and elegance that I don't have,

Andrea

Things Shiloh LOVES - or - the hazards of living with Andrea.

Shhhhh, I am not supposed to blog about Shiloh.  However, he doens't know *how* to find my blog and I am thinking this will be our little secret.

Let me start off by saying "he started it."  Everytime I am in the kitchen making a fuss, Shiloh sneaks around the corner and scares me.  I hear him about 80% of the time, so I can just calmly turn around and say, "nice try Mr. Walkswithaheavyfoot".  The other times he gets me, and not too long ago he got me pretty good.  Since I was all nice and sore from running 26.2 miles - getting scared really felt good.  Have sore muscles?!? I know the trick, let's give them a huge shot of adrenaline and squeeze the everloving life out of them.  They love it.  It feels awesome.

So, I told Shiloh that it was ON!!  I told him that he was never going to be able to relax again.  We both know that I am lighter on my feet, and that he is more vulnerable than I am.  So, you got me this time Shiloh, but I will *own* you in this game!!!

It's Sunday morning.  Shiloh is in the bathroom.  Andrea spots the door closure from miles away (really only a couple feet).  Andrea sneaks quitely to the door.  With all her might she pounds furiously on the closed door, and runs away.  As I am giggling in a far off corner I can hear *god damnit* from the bathroom.  Hilarious. 

Later I got a "was that really necessary".  It was, oh, it sooooo was.

It is on my friends, and this, this is only the beginning.

The Trials of Getting Home.

After six days in Vegas - I was pretty ready to come home.  I think any time after four days in that place takes a few years off the end of your life. (However, I was able to stay at the new Cosmopolitan, and it was fancy!)

So, Katie and I get to the airport early - with lots of time to spare (hooray OCD you saved me this time).  I go to check in, and the computer thingy can't find my reservation.  That is pretty normal - so I head to talk to the lady at the desk.  I give her all my information, and she begins typing away.  I think I hear her mutter, "well, this isn't good." 

She gives me the news.  The idiot gate agent in Spokane, while trying to upgrade my seat from Seattle to Las Vegas (six whole days ago) - decided to go ahead and cancel the Las Vegas to Seattle portion of my trip.  Awesome.  Sooooo appreciated that, in fact, I wish I could thank her in person with a punch to the face.  Did I mention the flight was SOLD OUT?!?!  She couldn't get me a seat, but she could get me a first class seat on the 6:00 pm flight - we were there at 9:00 am.  At this point I am very very close to meltdown mode.

I am told that I will be put on standby, and I should plead my case to the gate agent.  Katie and I make our way to the depths of the airport.  Both a little shocked that something like this could even happen.  How could someone cancel my flight without A. telling me B. my permission C. knowing???  *shakes fist*.

As I am sitting next to the gate, on the phone with Alaska Air - I hear the gate agent tell another gentleman that the flight is almost checked in full, and there is probably no way *ANYONE* will be getting on.  I think tears start to form, and I am pretty sure my heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

After raising a ruckus, offset by a little begging and pleading, I finally get a seat on the plane.  Good news, I get to sit next to Katie.  Bad news, it's a middle seat and the man I am initially next to is a giant.  He eventually figures out that he is in the wrong seat, and a Canadian with his half marathon medal around his neck takes his place.

Did I mention I left my headphones in my checked bag??  Longest. Flight. Ever.

Viva Las Vegas!!!

I didn't really give up on blogging so much as it just got moved to the back burner.  However, I am back!! ... and please excuse the grammar.

Now, let's talk about Vegas and of course the Marathon. 

I cannot believe that it has only been a week since my adventure.  I, of course, can still physically feel the effects.  I really didn't think it would take this long.  I kinda expected to be normal in a couple days.  Coach says it takes a day for every mile you race; I'm hoping to be done with this crud in a couple more days. 

So, on to the starting line.  I was nervous, terrified, excited, worried, and most of all I had to pee - like, eight times.  Once we started, though - I was able to just zone out (except for running next to Elvis - that was weird.)  I didn't have my head phones in, and the roar of the crowd was so very inspiring.  I knew that I had to take it slow, no need to rush off the line only to crash later.  So, I held back and fell into my groove. 

The first half of the race was wonderful.  It all just clicked along.  At one point, I saw the leader doubling back - that is a sight to behold.  It was animalistic and graceful at the same time.  I am fairly certain his feet didn't touch the ground.

The second half of the race is where the action began.  You see, there were 6,000 full marathoners and 38,000 half marathoners.  Word is, there was trouble with the start of the half and everyone got bunched up.  Once the full joined the half - I wanted to hurt someone.  You see, the halfers were supposed to stay on the right and the fulls on the left, but that would have been too easy.  So, everyone was everywhere.  I had to duck and weave, and jump on and off the sidewalks, and stop and start.  People would cut you off only to start walking a couple feet later.  I saw one lady get pushed to the ground... it was ugly.  My legs began to turn to jello around mile 22 - not because I wasn't ready for this, but I wasn't ready to tackle the stopping and starting (oh, and the jumping.)  If you run, you know, that in long distances if you lose your pace and rhythm, it's not coming back.

Not only did we have people who had a little trouble understanding the "rules" - the water stops were dry from mile 19-26, not good.  Okay, okay - not 100% dry - I was able to scoop my own water out of a trash can that had about 3 inches of water left in it, and countless cooties.  I have heard over the last few days that several people were sick from "tainted water" - I can't even imagine.

If you were following me, and wondered how I went from a 9:30 steady pace to finishing in 4:24:36 (which is still pretty damn good in my book) it is because of all the challenges.  I do feel that I am pretty ready for anything running can throw at me, now.  I got all the adventures out in my first marathon.  Once I crossed the finish line - I was a mess.  All tears.  I was so happy to see Katie JG at the end of the race - I needed that big hug.  My first words, through tears, "that was horrible, I want to do it again!!"

I can't tell you how much all your cheers, texts, FB posts, and calls meant to me.  I basically have the most wonderful group of friends and family anyone could ever ask for.  Plus, the finishers medal was pink and sparkly (it was like they designed it for me!!)

My body is tired, my feet will never be the same, the shoes will be retired, and my pictures have been lost.  Running has gotten into my blood, and will forever be part of who I am and how I define myself.  Now, on to the next race...  maybe another full in May?? 

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!!!



Mahna Mahna!!

Alright - fine.  I'll remind you!!

I was browsing iTunes, just to make sure I didn't miss anything super fantastic, when I came across a cover of The Fray singing "Mahna Mahna."  Needless to say, the song has been stuck in my head ever since - and I had to look up the original on youtube.

A.  Enjoy.
B.  Pretty sure the creators of the muppet show enjoyed illegal substances.  Just sayin'.

May your day be filled with many "doo, doo, doo, doo's."

Andrea

The Story of "Why Andrea's Not Allowed to Play Scrabble at Night."

Some of you know this story.  I figured it was high time I let the rest of you in on the secret.

I will take you back to a time this winter when I was heavily involved with "Words With Friends."  I would even go so far, as to say, I was *addicted*.  I would always have several games going at once, and my phone never left my side.  So, when I awoke at 2:30 am to use the bathroom - it was completely normal for me to think, "hmmm, I wonder if it is my turn to make a move on WWF."

The following detail of events will first be told from my perspective:

I wear earplugs to bed.  Shiloh snores.  I'm a light sleeper.  Earplugs it is.  I awoke at 2:30 am to use the bathroom, and decided I should check my phone.  This much we've determined.  Much to my delight, someone had played, and it was, in fact, my turn.  Also, because it was 2:30 am, and I was a little tired, I decided that I should perhaps have a seat on the kitchen floor.  So, there I sat cross legged, hunched over my phone, back to the entrance of the kitchen, deep deep deep in thought.

The next thing I know I hear LOUD stomping behind me, almost as if an animal is charging me, and something (clearly not an animal) touches my shoulder.  I, of course what else would I even think of doing, scream at the top of my lungs, complete a very fancy spin move, and ninja kick the space that I believe the strange creature to be occupying. 

Imagine my surprise when I see Shiloh, sprawled out on the kitchen floor, with a look that can only be described as sheer terror, on his face.

... and now my friends, the scene as it played out from Shiloh's perspective:

Shiloh noticed that I got out of bed at 2:30 am.  After I failed to return in "a reasonable amount of time" he went looking for me.  As he rounded the corner into the kitchen, he noticed me sitting on the floor.  He was a little concern that I was A. sitting on the kitchen floor, and B. hunched over.  Because he was worried, he called out to me "Andrea" not once, not twice, but three different times.   Because I was wearing earplugs, and deep in concentration mode, I never heard him.

Shiloh grew increasingly concerned, and feared for my safety.  He believed that I had gone "all Blair Witch, or something."  *whatever that means*  So, now - he was a little scared.  I mean, after all, why else would I be sitting on the kitchen floor, hunched over, non-responsive if not for a good old fashioned demon possession.  (obviously he never saw that I was holding a phone - just that I had a glow emitting from my being).

So, what does any rational human who, now believes his wife is possessed, do???  That's right, get down on all fours and approach them.  *carefully*  Imagine his surprise when, at the very moment he touches my shoulder, I erupt with a blood curdling scream that would make Jason, himself, nervous.

Now, 100% sure of my possession and in an attempt to save himself, he dove across the kitchen floor.  I mean really, who knows what Andrea possessed is capable of.  (I am sorry I am giggling as I write this... it was so damn funny).

As I spin around, attempting to thwart the obviously threat to my life - our eyes meet.  In an instant, we realize what has happened...

Shiloh:  WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!
Andrea:  PLAYING MY GAME, DO YOU WANT TO DIE!!!
Shiloh:  Sooooooo, you're not possessed???

I start laughing so hard I can barely talk, which then sends Shiloh into fits of giggles.  We agree that I will not play on my phone in the middle of the night, anymore. 

I, of course, can't stop laughing for the next hour. 

May your day be filled with humor at its finest.

Andrea

The Secret of the Socks.

So, y'all know that I am prone to blisters.  I have even gone so far as to dub myself Little Ms. Tenderfoot.

However, thanks to a suggestion by the brilliant Julie Farmer, tender feet may be a thing of my past.

Don't laugh:

These are my new running socks.  Don't mind the dirt on my right foot - I just got back from a 2 hour run.  No judging.

They are "Injinji" socks, and I will be purchasing more of them.  Fact.

I must admit, they felt really really strange walking around the house, but after I threw on my running shoes, and headed out the door - I really couldn't tell the difference.  The difference showed up at the end of the run, however.  I had zero blisters!!  None on my big toe, none between my toes, none on the pads of my feet. 

I will be buying another pair. You can bet the farm on that one.

May your day be filled with fruitful advice.

Andrea

Training Schedule - Inquiring Minds...

Some of my friends wanted me to post my training schedule.  So - here you have it.  I think I was told that I am on a 10 day rotating schedule, but it could be 21 days (either way) here it is:

It should be noted that this is the training schedule for my marathon scheduled 12/05

08/01: 20-30 Easy
08/02: 50 mins 15X100
08/03: 20-30 Easy
08/04: 60 mins
08/05: OFF
08/06: 20 mins, 15X100, 6 X 9:00 mile w/ 400 jog, 10X100
08/07: 20-30 Easy
08/08: 30 Easy
08/09: 2 Hours
08/10: 20-30 Easy
08/11: 20-30 Easy
08/12: OFF
08/13: 20 mins, 15X100, 9/10:00 min in/out miles for 6 miles, 10X100
08/14: 20 mins
08/15: 20 mins
08/16: 20 mins, 15X100, 4X 2:00 uphill, jog down, 8X100, 4X 2:00 uphill jog down, 15 mins
08/17: 20-30 easy
08/18: 50 mins, 15X100
08/19: 20-30 easy
08/20: OFF
08/21: 2 hours
08/22: 20-30 easy
08/23: 1 hour
08/24: 20-30 easy
08/25: 31/29 Tempo Run
08/26: OFF

Notes:

What is a 100??  A standard track (where 4 laps = 1 mile) is broken up into four hundreds.  I start on one end of the straight away, at the numbers, run to the other dash mark (at the other end of the straight - before the first corner) walk 7 slow paces, turn, walk 7 slow paces and run again.  Each straight is one - one hundred.

What is a 400???   One lap on a standard track

What is a tempo run??  Run out at one speed, come back faster.  So a 31/29 tempo run would mean I would run out 31 mins, and need to make it back to the start in 29 mins.

May your day be filled with grand plans.

Andrea

Heeeere Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...

I can't help it.  Cat videos are hysterical.  They usually leave me in tears (from laughing of course).

This one, is one of my favorites.  I can only imagine what is *really* being said.  Enjoy on this beautiful Saturday:

May your day be conflict free!

Andrea

Well, that hurt my elbow. Also, my pride.

It happened on the treadmill.  It ALWAYS happens on the treadmill.

I was trotting along - (5.7 - easy. as. pie) - supposed to be a wonderful 2.5 mile run.  Nothing exciting.  Zero. 

And then, it happened.  "It" came on.  Oh, how I have forgotten how much I love this song.  It started out innocent enough.  A few jazz hands moves here and there.  Then, I couldn't help myself - the music took over.  You should have seen my dance moves.  I had practiced these moves in my living room as a child - the gloriousness of them all came back to me - I was sweating pure joy.

SO - imagine my surprise, when, after just one faulty step (it is amazingly hard to keep said dance moves on the tiny, moving, landing strip) I was shot off the back of the treadmill.  Luckily, my trained jazz hands grabbed the emergency cord - and it stopped fairly quickly.  I am also fairly lucky that all that got injured, was my elbow.  Nothing was broken, bleeding, oozing, or throbbing.  I escaped relatively unscathed.  My pride, however, not so much.

What was this tune that clutched me so tightly in its grasp??  Ladies and Gents, may I present to you:

May your day be filled with the beauty of a better way of life..... sing it!!

Andrea

That was HARD!!!

'Cause sometimes you feel tired, feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse."

Yup, I just quoted Eminem.  He may be on to something.

Today was tough.  I waited too long to run - I dilly dallied.  I'm not gonna lie.  By the time I got out the door it was 8:30 already pushin' 70 degrees.  When I finished 82 - ugh.  I am overheated.  I even had to take my tank top off (mortified).  If you know me, you know I might as well have been running naked.  I really appreciate good coverage.

Also, because I got my hair dyed yesterday and I sweat like a man (thanks Nikki for letting me steal your expression) - my sweat from my head was pink.  Pink streams of sweat pouring down my face.  This little incident scares the little old ladies.  They tend to worry about you when your sweat is pink.  "No, no, really it's not blood - it's hair dye.  I'm okay, no, really!!"

But, I never gave up.  Never quit.  Never walked away.  It would have been really easy to do.  I had to keep thinking "Bernard wouldn't quit.  Meb wouldn't want to skip a workout."  Yes, I do realize that they are WAAAAAAYYY out of my league. But, hey, whatever works.

I had a new workout today.  20 mins 15X100 (typical warm up) then 6 miles of in and outs.  A fancy term for a 9 minute mile, followed by a 10 minute mile - until you hit 6 miles.  I wanted to quit after the warm up.  But I didn't.  I wanted to quit after the first nine minute mile.  But I didn't.  I wanted to quit after mile 5 - but I keep pushing.

I finished, and most importantly I hit all my time goals.  Hardest.  Workout.  Ever. 

I think I will die now.

May your day be filled with early starts and successful finishes,

Andrea

PS:  Don't you want to follow my blog?  That way I know you are reading - and I keep bloggin'.  See how that works.  Okay, enough self promotion.

Is it me??

...Or is it a full moon, OR - are the people in Colfax especially bat-shit crazy today??

Today was my short, slow, run - short. slow. You with me??  We are talking 2.1 miles at 10:45 miles.  Slow.  Short.

On my way down the hill (barely running at this point - warming up really) I was greeted by a man, slightly resembling Santa Clause.  Well, huge beer belly and shaggy white beard, wearing jean shorts and a muscle shirt that even Santa may be too embarrassed to be seen in; he was resting against his bike.  As I jaunt by, he utters: "bet you can't do that up hill."  You're right old man, I could do it faster up hill - cause I'm not even trying right now!!!  I choose to ignore this one.  Whatever.

At about a mile into the run, a van pulls over and screeches to a halt in front of me.  Two teenage girls jump out and begin to run towards me.  This is where Shiloh is SO right, if I would have had pepper spray I would have used it.  I don't care what kind of happiness you are bringing into the world - don't stop a moving vehicle and run toward a lone female that you do not know.  You have been warned.  Anyhow, the blonder of the two gals runs up to me.  I turn off my iPod and grunt "you better keep up."  (again wasn't going all that fast)  She tries to issue me a popsicle, "compliments of the Church of Nazarene."  Really? You saw someone on a run, and thought "wow they look hot, bet they would like a popsicle."  I informed her that I appreciated the gesture, but it is hard to literally eat and run and it probably wouldn't make it home.  I get she was being nice... I get it.

... and just when I thought it couldn't get any weirder.  Ms. 80 year old, forgot to put in my partial, missing a couple 6 teeth, smoking what smells like an unfiltered cigarette, hollers at me.  I didn't hear what she said the first time, so again, off with the pod - "what?"  She says, "you really need to take your water with you!!!"  Scolding me, really?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!  Is she really expecting me to take her seriously??  Maybe I am the crazy one, but I don't really feel it's appropriate for this lady (who A. is smoking and B. has obviously not taken the best care of herself) to offer up health advise.  So, I holler back "I'm not even going 5K lady - I am fine!!"  I could have added a number of extra "helpful tips" about how not polluting my oxygen would, in fact, be even MORE helpful - but I was almost done. 

I have never been so happy to see my front door.  You can bet I am not going anywhere else tonite.  Crazy weirdos.

May your evening be weirdo free.

Andrea

My National Holiday Week.

This could get offensive.  Really, I am not all that sorry for it.

I was running today, and noticed a sign that said "National Breastfeeding Week".  Um, really?  We need a "national" week for that?  REALLY??  Is the week sponsored by Hooters?  Do we buy cards for people?  I really don't get it.

So, then it got me thinking (of course it did).  I have come up with my own National Holiday Week(s).  National "It's OK to be in your 30s and not want kids" week, or maybe National "We may not discuss the contents of my womb" week, or maybe national "yes, I am childless and no, there is nothing wrong with me" week.

Now, I am not saying that there isn't a small chance (somewhere in the future) that I may have children.  But it isn't happening tomorrow.  And, really - you don't need to give me a guilt trip about my mom not have grandchildren, and how awful that must be for her.  You know - if her life is so awful without children, she isn't too old to adopt.

Also, Christmas cards are also not the place to ask about my decision to not have kids. 

Let's be clear I am not some horrible child-hating person either.  I like other people's kids.  We get along.  They think I am heaps of fun.  I just really like being footloose and fancy free, and you know what - that is my choice to make.  So there!!

May your day be filled with personal celebrations,

Andrea

Say it ain't so.

I've been "walking around" with this information for the last day.  I don't like it one bit.  Not. One. Bit.  BUT - I understand.

I'm not running the Portland Marathon.  There I said it.  That hurt.  It isn't because I don't 100% want to - I want to.  It's because I'm not ready. Coach and I talked, and he thinks I need more time.  Could I DO the Portland Marathon?  Sure.  Would it be smart?  Probably not. 

When Coach told me this - I got very quiet.  I was thinking, "What about the registration fee I already paid??  How am I going to tell Julie??  How am I going to tell everybody else??"  Coach asked me if I was going to fire him.  I, am not.

Let's try to be logical about this.  Coach has been running longer than I have been alive.  I have been running for almost 11 months.  It would be really stupid for me not to listen.  Coach knows a thing or two about running.  He also said, and I am not joking, that if I continue on this path of hard work - I could run my 1st marathon in under four hours.  However, I will only do that by running smart, being patient, and understanding that sometimes things don't work out like we want them to.  I will not just survive my first marathon - I will be successful.

After a few more moments of silence Coach said, "You're most upset because you've already told everyone that you are running it, and now you're not - right?"  He hit the nail on the head.

So, forgive me for getting your hopes up for October.  We're going to have to wait a little bit longer.  Instead of my original plan - I will run the Spokane Half Marathon on October 9th. (thank you, thank you, thank you Julie for being so understanding and wonderful.  You have no idea how much that means to me.  I owe you super duper big time!!)  I will then run my first FULL marathon in Las Vegas on December 4th. 

My pride is a little bruised.  My ego a little tarnished.  My heart is full of acceptance.  My body and mind is ready to work their asses off.  Chin up, eyes forward, shoulders squared. On your marks. Get set. Go!

May your day be filled with mental flexibility.

Andrea

Half Recap!!

I am sure that you have all figured out that I survived.  Also, I am hooked and so very ready to do it again!!

I am really quite happy with the way my very first half went - with a finish time of 2:08:54 (complete with two monster hills - I am really looking forward to finding flat races).

There are just a few things I would do differently:

1.  Eat more before the run.  Joe says one of the Olympic teams ate blueberry pancakes for breakfast.  Really, if it is good enough for Olympians - it's good enough for me.

2.  Drink more from the hydration stations earlier on.  Towards the end of the race I was grabbing two cups of water, and I should have been doing that all along.

3.  Start out slower.  I kinda took off like the house was on fire, and perhaps I should have taken the first three miles slow.  Then, perhaps, I would have had extra gas in the tank for that monster of a hill on mile 12.

I was looking back through all my stuffs, and noticed that I haven't even been running for one year.  I believe my anniversary date is Sept. 4th.  I feel pretty good about how far I have come in less than a year.  Joe asked where I was one year ago, my response:  "on the couch, eating bon-bons."  Here's to more successful halves and wholes.

May your day be filled with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment!

Andrea

Why Whole - When You Can Half??

Ugh.  Yup.  I have my first half-marathon this weekend.  Sunday to be exact.  *barf*

I don't remember being nervous at all a couple days ago, of course, that could have been the ultra hot St. Louis weather going to my brain.  (110 with the heat index, did I mention humidity... oh, Pacific Northwest how I do love thee.)

Now, I've got this:

What if I faint?  What if I have to pee?  What if I can't make it? What if I sleep in?  What if I don't drink enough water?  What if I barf?  What if I am the very last person?  What if I trip and fall, and break my leg, and have to crawl (or drag myself really) to the nearest aide station??????

Unreasonable??  I thought so, too.  Sometimes, you just can't shut off the part of your brain that rides to town on the crazy train.  I realize, that I should be fine.  Really.  Unless, like in India, I get mauled by a damn panther.  There aren't panthers in Oregon are there??

May your day be filled with clarity,

Andrea

Yup, This is MY Luck.

I told you Gabe - totally blogging it.

So, went to St. Louis - found a hotel, it was kinda far away from where I needed to be most days.  Also, it had not one, not two, but three security gates that I had to go through to get to my room.  Let's just say it freaked me out a little bit.  I don't even want to think of the reasons WHY they might need 3 locked gates.

So, I moved.  Made reservations for a different, closer, hotel.  I bopped, yes bopped, down to the front desk to check out.  This is what happens:

Desk Clerk:  Checking out?
Andrea:  Yes sir, you are just too far away.
DC: Oh, so you are going to the concert??
Andrea: Hmmm, what concert.
DC:  Really?? Uh, U2
Andrea:  WHAAAAAAATTTT!!!!!
DC:  Yup, I have tickets if you need to buy some.
Andrea: (pouty face) Oh man, I can't go - CRAP!  Now, if you had some NKOTB tickets we'd be in business.  (see I was free that night)
DC:  Oh, you a fan??
Andrea:  Heck yessssss! (believe there was a fist pump involved)
DC:  Well, I can't officially tell you this - but you might want to stay here.  We're there official hotel.
Andrea:  *silence*
DC:  I know, right??
Andrea:  *silence*

Finally, got out that I had to be going now...

BUT - SERIOUSLY DUDE!!!!! Could you maybe have told me that before I went through the trouble of checking out???  I kinda look like the type of gal who would need that information.  You know that I am sooooo not above stalking people in the lobby!!  Just another example of my bad luck.

May your day be filled with extra special chance encounters,

Andrea

Just Sayin.

I read those posts that folks write - yada yada yada look out for motorcycles.

Sure, sure I will - and I promise not to RAM them with my car if they, indeed, look out for me whilst I am running!  I almost got pummeled twice.

Hey, jerk-face on the reeeeeeaaaaaly stupid purple motorcycle. See all those cars that are stopping???  Yeah, not a weird phenomenon.  It's actually this thing (law rather) called, "pedestrian in the damn crosswalk." 

Give me stank face again, and so help me God, I will run you down and ninja kick you off your bike.

ALLLLLL better.

May your day be filled with thoughts of safety.

Andrea

Let's Wallow Together.

You ever have one of those days where nothing goes right, you're sad and you don't know why, you find yourself throwing the pity party of the century, and you just wanna go eat worms??  That is kind of me today, well not totally, but I have to travel this weekend, and I would really rather stay home.  July, just so you know, we aren't really friends anymore.

Anyhoo, this always cheers me up... and ah one, two, three, four:

May your day be merry and bright.

Andrea

Cat or Dog??

I read this analogy in an article last week, and I thought it was brilliant.  It talked about the difference in runners: some are cats and some are dogs.  You see, I am a cat.  Does that surprise you??  And by cat I mean: I like to run solo, does my own thing, set my own pace, listen to fabulous tunes, and tune the world out.  I like to be alone in my head.  It is one of the only times that I do not have to think about one single thing.  Not the dishes in the sink, the laundry piling up, the meals that need to be made, or the work that needs to be done.  For those few miles – I am responsible to no one but Andrea.  This means, I try not get run over, or trip… easier said than done.

Other of you are clearly dog runners; running in a pack, with friends, seemingly social runners.  I commend you for this!  It takes a lot of work to organize a group run – not to mention patience. 

Don’t get me wrong – I love company.  I am usually looking for a friend to join me at this race, or the other.  It’s just when the gun goes off – I visit Andrealand.  In racing, I have the every man for themselves mentality.  Whether you’re slower, or much much faster… I will see you at the finish line.

May your day be filled with the appropriate paws.
Andrea

NKOTBSB!! Or, Before there was Shiloh Farmer there was Jordan Knight.

Yes, I did.  and Yes, it was fabulous!

It was certainly one of the most action packed, entertaining concerts I have been to in a really long time: fireworks, moving stage parts, sequins, abs, and shooting flames.  Awesome.  I also must say, that attending this concert was something that I have wanted to do for the last 23 years.  Childhood dream fulfilled!! (Yes, I totally screamed like I was 11, and there may have been a few tears, also I may have screamed "I love you Jordan" - whatever).

The thing that made it so glorious, besides the super excellent company of one Cathryn Hogarth, was that they didn't try to be anything other than what they are:  a most fabulous boy band(s).  They sang all the greats complete with dance moves circa, 1989.  AND we were sooooo close - I could see the whites of their eyes.  If I wouldn't have gotten arrested, I would have trampled bitches to touch just one pant-leg of my childhood crush, Jordan Knight.  I have also gained a new appreciate for the Backstreet Boys, and the showmanship of Mr. Nick Carter. 

I also, must note, that the "people watching" was super wonderful.  I saw fashion trends that I hadn't seen in 15+ years: overalls with one shoulder undone, more neon than the law allows, and one special lady with light pink pants and perhaps black undies.  Classy.

I have to admit, if they ever come back (please, please make it so) I am there in a heartbeat, that is, if I don't buy a ticked on the NKOTB 2012 Cruise.  Don't think I won't!!

...and with that, I shall leave you with my favorite NKOTB song (please notice the awesome dance moves - you know that we can all still do them...)

May your day be spent la la la la la-ing,

Andrea

Summer Reading List.

Wowzers.  I have been a reading machine lately.  I go through these phases where reading is like breathing... it's compulsive, and well, a tad bit scary. 

However, the good news is I can provide you with a list of some pretty good reading material.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I did:

1.  Beauty Queens: Libba Bray
2.  Before I Go To Sleep: S.J. Watson
3.  Amaryllis in Blueberry: Christina Meldrum
4.  A Discovery of Witches: Deborah Harkness
5.  The Wednesday Sisters: Meg Waite Clayton
6.  Good Enough to Eat: Stacey Ballis

You may notice that none of this will be up for the Pulitzer - but it's summer.  The time to indulge in junk food reading.  So, put on your pjs and bunny slippers and get to reading.

May you day be filled with good books.

Andrea

Need a Jump Start?!?

Thanks to Ms. Abbie, this song is rockin' my play list.  I can't help but get my groove on when I listen to it.  And, well, let's be honest - if they granted awards for "best chair dance in an office setting" I would win.  Don't be jealous.  It's the honest truth.  Don't believe me - I will challenge any of you to a dance off. 

In the meantime, start practicing your dance moves:

May your day be filled with awe inspiring dance moves,

Andrea

Wanna Party?!?

Hey Folks,

So, unless you live under a rock you know that I am a Pampered Chef consultant.  AND I need some awesome July hosts!!  July is a pretty rad month to have a party - catalog, internet, or otherwise.  You can earn $100-$200 EXTRA in FREE products (so $190-$415 of free stuff...even out of town/state).  It is really quite easy to host a catalog party - you just collect orders and money - and then send them to me. 

Hosts also get 60% off the manual food processor, collapsible bowls, or cool n serve tray.

Can you say best host special ever!  Aw, you know you want to help!

May your day be filled with "give it a try" moments.

Andrea

Damn Crazy Church People.

Dear Crazy Lady and your seven poodles.

Do you really think that letting your small army of poodles loose on my FRONT LAWN to pee and poop is either A.  socially acceptable B. Christian?  Cause I am here to tell you: A. get your effing dogs out of my yard B. Jesus will smite you.

Yes.  This really happened.  I, earbuds in ears, step out to water my flowers to find my yard FULL of poodles – with their owner standing by her car in my front yard.  She says something about “Tina Marie” being on my porch, indeed she is, and then I lose her after that.  I am sure that she keeps talking to me, but alas – I have my earbuds in, and unless you want me to take them out and go “batshit, bug fuck, ham sandwich crazy” on you.  You need to shut your pie hole, and get your freaking dogs out of my yard.

You would think, having the homeowner come out, ignore you, and give you serious stank face – would make you humbly pack your gang of dogs up, and move along.  Oh, not this crazy God-lovin’ woman.  She stood out there for another, oh, three minutes AFTER I went back inside.  AND here is the kicker, she drove right on over to the church – where they have a lovely yard for peeing and pooping.  Let’s use that shall we!

I decided to come up to the computer and vent, rather than scour the lawn for poop – that I could bag up and deposit on said crazy lady’s car (still not out of the question).  What the Hell is wrong with people?  I have half a notion to put a sign in my front lawn that reads, “Jesus gets upset when you let your dogs poop here.”

See Chrissy – this is what I have to deal with!!

May your day be filled with normal, sane, completely rational people.

Andrea

The Need to Share.

Whenever I hear something that is a spot on description of how I have felt - I feel the need to share.

One of my favorite bloggers, Jen Lancaster, in a description of trying to have a conversation with a "know it all" customer service rep - makes the statement that she went "batshit, bug fuck, ham sandwich crazy."  I LOVE that statement, and I totally plan to use it as often as possible, or rather, when appropriate.

Don't act like you don't know EXACTLY what she means.  It's the way you feel when someone cuts you of in traffic only to slow down once in front of you, or when you go to turn into your private driveway only to find a stranger parked in it, or when you order a super deluxe burger with cheese and the drive thru lady tries to tell you it comes with cheese and you get your burger and there is no cheese cause in fact - it doesn't come with cheese unless you ADD it, or when you are trying to run mile repeats and you have got a walker in the inside lane *shakes fist*.  At that very moment your pulse races, your ears go red, and it takes every fiber of your being not to go "batshit, bug fuck, ham sandwich crazy."  You may even find yourself muttering... "serenity now!!!!"  Now, think, have you ever heard a better description of that feeling??  I thought not.

May your day be free of ham sandwich crazy.

Andrea

Goldilocks was NOT a Runner.

We have got to get this out in the open, it is really chappin' my hide.

Let's be clear, I totally understand that we all run for different reasons: health, fun, competition, meditation, alone time, or all of the above.  However, if you are serious about this - and want to continue on the running path uninjured, you need to run smart and you need to be consistent.

I cringe when I hear people say I really wish I could go running but it's too cold, too hot, too rainy, too windy, or my most "want to box your ears" excuse... I'm too busy.  Just be honest.  You don't really WANT to do it; because if you did - you would get your booty off the couch/bed/floor/ and go and do it. 

You need to be honest with yourself.  Don't make excuses to give yourself a pass on something you know you should do.  If you want to get your run on - do it.  You won't melt (Nikki and I ran 9.3 miles in the pouring rain, and hey - we are still alive.  And furthermore, you can always use this fancy thing called a dryer - amazing, right??) You won't blow away - yeah, it will suck, but it will build character.  AND Finally!! put it on your calendar, get up an hour earlier, or DVR your TV show.  It's like anything else in this life - if you really want to do it - you will find time.

Conditions aren't always going to be perfect.  Life isn't always perfect, but is it overcoming the obstacles that help us build strength and confidence.  You have to get out and get dirty and freeze your buns off to truly appreciate the "perfect" days.

AND most of off - use your doggone brain!  If you haven't ran in a week, don't lace up and run 5 miles.  Chances are you'll be so sore the next day - you will decide that you should probably rest for the next week, and the cycle of bad habits begin.  Start slow, incorporate broken runs, and seek help when you need it.

Phew.  I feel so much better now.

May your day be filled with smart decisions and no-excuses.

Andrea

Twilight Zone?!?

It seems that things at the Farmer House are always just left of center.  Shiloh and I are perfectly normal people when we are apart, and completely normal things happen to the both of us when we are separated.  But put us together and its mass chaos; full of hearty belly laughs.

For example, last night Shiloh was watching Lonesome Dove - totally normal (well - okay debatable).  I bring dinner into the living room, and we decide to change the channel.  For a VERY brief moment we stop on Cisco - the garden dude, and this is what he says as he is blathering on...

"You know what the definition of a deer is??  A 200 pound slut."  No.  I am not kidding.  So, Shiloh and I start laughing, because the statement is soooo bizarre.  Then, of course, I pipe up through the laughter and say, "Deers weigh waaaaaaay more than 200 pounds." Which sends Shiloh into new fits of giggles, and eventually he chokes out... "the weight wasn't the weird part Andrea... Seriously...  No way man, that slut is at least 250." 

Finally, we compose ourselves and switch the channel.  Next up a promo for a show about "little people" (I don't know what the pc preference is these days) called Pit Boss.  Looks like a show about little people gangsters complete with cigars as big as their arms, and fedoras, and pin stripe suits. Then the voice over says, "All new Pit Boss on .... the Animal Planet."  To which I reply - why is a show about little people on the Animal Planet.  New fits of giggles.  It took us a good 15 minutes to get to our dinner.  Good thing the enchiladas were extra hot last night.

May your day be filled with odd comments and unguarded moments.

Andrea

Dress of Awesome.

Let's just get one thing straight.  I have the best book club.  Ever.

This month we are reading the book, "Beauty Queens" by Libba Bray.  It is seriously laugh out loud funny. 

To prove my point - here is an excerpt of its awesomeness:

THE REPUBLIC OF CHACHA:

MoMo B. ChaCha was not happy.  His favorite pajamas were not yet back from the cleaners.  When MoMo was unhappy everyone was unhappy.  With a sigh, he settled on a pair of cotton pj's.  In the morning, he would have the cleaners assassinated.

MoMo removed his custom Elvis-with-sideburns hairpiece and placed it carefully on the plaster of Paris wig form made to look just like MoMo, complete with a long, fat mustache and oversize sunglasses.  Without the wig, the dictator's head was like a smooth pond covered by thin strands of brown floss, strands that had grown thinner during the 15 years, 4 months, 3 days, and 22 hours he had been the absolute ruler of the Republic of ChaCha.  It was a small country, but rich in natural resources of the type that make other countries bend over backward to accommodate it.  For this reason only, MoMo had a seat in the UN where, on more than one occasion, he had stood on the table in his platform shoes and ermine-trimmed bell-bottoms and danced out his protest against U.S. sanctions.  He hated everything about the country of the Miss Teen Dream Pageant, except for three things: Elvis Presley, the greatest entertainer who ever lived; reality TV, especially the raucous Captains Bodacious; and Ladybird Hope.

For this reason, every night after dinner and executions, he would retire to his secret bedroom on his private yacht, which had been wallpapered ceiling to floor in photos of Ladybird Hope.  He would don his Elvis Comeback Special black jumpsuit pajamas, crawl into his heart-shaped bed, and pretend Ladybird was beside him, as if they were a couple on an American sitcom.

"Ladybird, why do we not have the sex? A little less conversation and a little more action, please."

"You are so fresh, Peacock!" MoMo answered himself in a high, Ladybird Hope voice.  "Let us to watch episodes of Captains Bodacious now, and in the morning, we kill defenseless animals with our big guns."

"As you wish, Ladybird.  Dreams come true in Blue Hawaii."

May your day be filled with glitter, sideburns, and special Elvis comeback special pjs.

Andrea

Wanna Know a Secret...

I am fairly certain that most of you are familiar with one of my favorite websites:  www.postsecret.com

However, if you aren't you should check it out.  They post new secrets every Sunday, and it is now part of my Sunday routine.  Get up, eat, run, check postsecrets.

It always gets me thinking - what would my secret be...  Hmmm, wouldn't you like to know :)

May your day be filled with all things mysterious,

Andrea

Salsa Anyone!!!

Summer is HERE!!!  and what does that mean?!?  BBQs and Picnics -duh!!!

My weakness is, and perhaps always will be, chips and salsa.  Fresh homemade salsa will send me to my knees every time.

Here is a fabulous recipe that I make in my handy dandy Pampered Chef Manual Food Processor - which you must go and buy RIGHT now!!  www.pamperedchef.biz/afarmer

The Bestest Salsa:
One Can Ro-Tel Tomatoes
One Big Can Diced Tomatoes
One Bunch of Cilantro
One Sweet Onion
Couple Cloves O' Garlic
Juice of One Lime
Salt to Taste.

You will need to make this in halves, and try not to eat it all at once.  So, delicious.

May your day be filled with sugar and spice.

Andrea

A Letter to My Lady Friends.

Dear Lady Friends (although not all of you are offenders),

We need to have a serious chat.  Now, I appreciate good underwear as much as the next lady - let's be real clear about that.  However, I do not appreciate having to view yours.  I know, I know - if I don't like, don't look.  You probably aren't doing for my benefit anyhow.

But seriously, your thong - it's above your pants, and well, that CAN'T be comfortable.  And... it's bright pink, with... well... with more bells and whistles than any pair of underwear has the right to contain.  All of which, are located on a VERY tiny piece of fabric that is (well I think) supposed to be covering your crack... am I right about this?

Oh, I am so disturbed.  I want to tap you on the shoulder and say - 'scuse me hun, can you put that thing away.  Again, not because I don't appreciate a nice pair of drawers - but for the love...  the kids man, the kids.  Not to mention you look like, well, a ho.

Am I alone here???  I am so very embarrassed for these gals.  There is a fine line between sexy and skanky (okay not so fine) but they have jumped over the damn line and are running for the hills.  I just can't imagine A. yankin' my undies up so high that they show over my pants - on purpose and B. that I would think it a fashion statement rather than an OMG where is the rock I can hide under I am so embarrassed moment.

Maybe I am a prude.  Maybe I am just getting old.  Either way... I'll keep my underthings well hid. 

May your day be filled with the art of being tasteful.

Andrea

Just try not to dance...

Yup - this is the song of the week.  Really, I cannot get enough.  You should see my awesome dance moves that accompany this jam.  Prime viewing occurs when I am attempting to dance and run simultaneously.

Please excuse the lameness of the video - just close your eyes and DANCE!!  Dance I say!!

May you day be filled with fancy dancin'

Andrea

Honey Badger Don't Care!!

This is my morning funny - I love this video.  Makes me laugh every time.

May we all live a little like the honey badger today... crazy without a care in the world.

Andrea

Blisters Be Gone!!

Have I got a deal for you!!  An old running secret, apparently.  Passed down from generation to generation.  Be very quiet... I am about to fill you in. 

Anhydrous Lanolin. 

Yup.  That's it.  That is the magic cure for all things blister related.  I am the QUEEN of blisters.  I am so very very blister prone.  Doesn't matter the shoes, the socks, the sweat, the tears - blister, blister, blister, blister.

Where do you find this gem you ask??  Go to any pharmacy, and ask them to order it for you.  It isn't very expensive, but they don't seem to stock it.  Make absolute sure it is ANHYDROUS.

This stuff is sticky, tacky, and tar like.  Trust me when I say you will need 5-7 minutes to rub it into your feet.  If I am just going on a short run, I just rub it into my high blister frequency areas:  edges of my big toes, tops of pinkie toes, underneath middle toes.  I have been using this stuff for two weeks now, and NO blisters.  Magic.

Take my word - your feet will thank me.

May your day be filled with feet saving magic.

Andrea

Oh the HORROR!!!!

They have indeed invaded the Farmer household.

I was watching TV, oh a week ago, and Shiloh storms in the room.  "We have a problem!" 

Uh, duh, you are standing in front of the TV, and I am totally watching something here.

Andrea, this is serious.  We have a mouse problem.  They have eaten HUNDREDS of dollars worth of my mountain food, and ALL of the weight gainer packets you brought back with you from that Boise thing.  For all I know we have 20 pound mice running around here!!!! 

I'll take care of it... now if you'll kindly leave me to my show.

Andrea!!  I am serious!!!

So. am. I.  Scoot!!!

Needless to say, when left home alone one weekend, I bought some Decon and strategically placed it in the axis of evil.  Yay.  Good job Andrea.  A couple days later, one dead mouse was found in my flower garden.  Success. 

Yesterday, as I went by the closet of shame I heard squeaking.  Hmmm that is odd.  I asked Shiloh if he set any snapping traps.  He did not.  Huh, oh well - I had to head out of town for work - soooooo, not my problem.

Shiloh called me and informed me there was a lot of drama in the Farmer House last night.  I couldn't even begin to fathom what that might entail.  Shiloh informed me he found the source of the squeaking.  Turns out a "baby" mouse had fallen ill (duh, poison) and was mourning the loss of his "brother" that was dead in the hallway.  Now, to me this sounded like - way to go Andrea, you successfully killed three of the mice that were causing a ruckus in the house.  Not so... turns out - the "baby" mouse situation cause Shiloh a lot of grief, and he asked me what I thought he should do.

My response.  Put the thing out of its misery.  Run it over with your truck, something... anything.

Shiloh's response.  Andrea, I am not bunny foo foo, and I will not be bopping this little field mouse. 

Oh for the love!!!  Just when I think I have fixed one problem...

So, I suggested that he take one of Dee's insulin needles and attempt to feed the baby mouse some left over clam chowder... or maybe he should take to WSU, and make sure to let the Dr. on call know that the mouse was poisoned.  I don't think Shiloh thought I was very funny.  I thought I was hilarious!!

May your day be filled with mission accomplished moments.

Andrea

New Running Playlist.

Guess what time it is???  Time to move your booty, and boy have I got the playlist to do just that!! 

1.  Don't Get Me Wrong - Pretenders
2. Gold Guns Girls - Metric
3. I'm So Excited - Pointer Sisters
4. Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol
5. Moth's Wings - Passion Pit
6. Hip Hip Chin Chin - Club des Belugas
7. Edge of Glory - Lady Gaga
8. Hello - Martin Solveig & Dragonette
9. Explosive - Bong
10.  Power - Kanye West
11. Take on Me - A=ha
12.  Who's that Chick - David Guetta and Rihanna

I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

May you find your groove on this sunny day.

Andrea

Not for the squeamish...

Howdy Folks -

Lately, I have having a very difficult time, mentally, with my jaw stuff.  Yes, the surgeries and appointments are all complete, and I am so pleased with how things have turned out.  However, I have been experiencing ghost pains, and aches, and headaches, and just some soreness.  I even joined a support group - just to determine if I am crazy or not - turns out I'm not.  There are so many others that are going through what I have gone through, and it is so comforting to find these people. 

I was chatting with one, and saying that I feel like (even though it has been 2 years) I should be back to 100%.  That is when I was shown the following video, and told...  "let people go through this themselves, and then try to tell you to get over it." 

Holy blazes this in intense.  Don't watch this if you have a weak stomach or faint at the sight of blood.

May your day be filled with the support of others just like you. - Andrea

On the Mend.

It has been a week since we have been able to bring Ms. Dee home, and wowzers, we are learning to adjust.  She has a special diet, had antibiotics three times a day, and insulin shots twice a day.  We are all done with the antibiotics, but we will never be done with the others.  For the rest of her life she will have to get insulin twice a day.  We are just so thankful that the diagnosis was treatable, and that she is home.

We (the humans and the dog) are learning to adjust to the new schedule.  No more sleeping in, no more treats, no more "oh hey, can you drop by the house a couple times today and let the pup out."  I think she is adjusting better than we are.  She doesn't even seem to notice the shots, and she thinks that her new diet food might be the best thing ever.

Her energy is slowly coming back, along with her balance and mental awareness.  She even hopped in the car on Friday with no help - as we went back to the vet to get her glucose tested.  We still aren't ready for long walks on the beach, but with time we hope to get there.

I can't thank everyone enough for their prayers, thoughts, good karma, kind words, smiles, hugs, and willingness to help.  My heart is full.

May your cup runneth over,

Andrea

When it Rains... it Floods.

Good Morning Friends.

This has been a very trying week for us.  Dee became very ill on Tuesday, and we took her to the WSU Veterinary Hospital (best place on earth.)  It turns out that she had become diabetic, and developed ketoacidosis and pancreatitis.  When they told me all of this on the phone - everything kind of became fuzzy, and I just remember hearing the word "crisis" over and over again.

She is currently undergoing treatment, but will for the rest of her life be diabetic.  The ketones in her blood have gone from extremely high, to mid-range - they should be zero.  She is responding well to the treatments, she is now eating, but she is so weak.  For those of you who know her - instead of running over and jumping on you, she just raises her eyebrows.  She is such a tired gal.  She won't even lift her head to drink.  My heart hurts for her.  I am going to go visit her again today - it is just so hard to see her so sick.  She is a fighter though, and I know that we will bring her home.

As you can imagine, all of this care is going to cost us an extremely pretty penny.  She is worth every bit.  Of course that means I'll be hounding all of you to try your hand at a Pampered Chef show, or to attend one. (Let me know if you want too!!!  and if you live in Ephrata please come to the show on the 4th of June).  Just when you think you are out of the woods financially, something like this happens, and BAM - someone pushes your head back under water.  I know that we will all pull through this, and that we will be stronger for it.  Our house feels so empty without the little blondie running around, or turning cartwheels at the door to meet you.  She is such a special girl.

May your day be filled with paw prints on your heart.

Andrea

Not Exactly Sure I'm GaGa.

If you haven't heard, Ms. Gaga released her new album this week.  I was pretty excited - I can't pass up a good pop jam.  (Don't worry - there is plenty of other "good" music on my playlist too.)

So, here I sit - on song number 3 "Hair" thinking - eh, when does the fabulous stuff start?  I'm as free as my hair??  I want to be your hooker??  WHAT?!?!  Is everyone eating crazy sandwiches, or am I missing something.  So far - I am not in love.  Granted, there is about 15 songs to go.  I'm hoping there is something sassy yet to come.

However, until that moment arrives - enjoy this awesome skit featuring the lady:

May you day be filled with fun and gags,

Andrea

In Need of a Smile??

I think we all have days where we wake up dressed from head to toe in grumpy pants.  We can shake them, as they are tighter than spandex... maybe this is why we are so grumpy - they cut off our circulation, and cause us to not think as clearly as we would like.

On days like this, I turn to youtube.  A simple smile is the only cure to loosen these grumpy pants.  AND what type of videos do I watch??  One's like these - enjoy!!!

May your day be filled with *treeeeeaaats*.

Andrea

The Pits of Being Poorly Shod.

Goooooood Morning Friends.

Well, it happened.  I had my first crap race.  Don't worry, this isn't one of those "oh, she is being to hard on herself posts."  This is more of a, "holy bananas my toe blew up!" post.

You see, salespeople are sneaky.  I came waltzing into a running store with one thing on my brain: Brooks Ravenna 2.  I left with a pair of asics, craptastic.  The first couple times I ran in them, the calf pain that I was experiencing went away.  However, I developed a blister on the middle toe of my right foot.  These shoes also made me run on my tippy toes, which made my coach VERY irritated.

Two days before the race the blister cracked, and bled, and what did I do? - superglued it back together.  Because really, superglue fixes everything - or so I thought. 

Race Day.  Warm up.  I get corrected no less than 10 times for running on my toes.  Damn shoes.  On your marks.  Get set. GO!!!  and we're off.  Mile 2, I finally pass the 16 year old kid in a pirate costume.  Mile 2.5, finally pass the 8 year old.  Mile 3.1, nearly choke on water (I really need to learn to run and grab and drink).  Mile 4, my toe explodes.  A blister had formed under the superglued blister, and it burst, and it bled, and it hurt.  Mile 5-6, ouch.  ouch.  ouch.  ouch.  get passed by an old dude.  ouch. ouch. ouch.

The upside to having this happen to me in a 10K was that I got the opportunity to learn from it.  It wasn't the marathon, or even the half.  I learned that when you know what you want, you shouldn't let anyone talk you into something else.  Go with your gut. Chances are, the person trying to change your mind doesn't have YOUR best interests at heart. 

Final time:  6.2 miles in 55:13.  Next race: Pendleton 15K... it's a doozy.

May your day be filled with happy feet and toes.

Andrea