Dear Crazy Lady and your seven poodles.
Do you really think that letting your small army of poodles loose on my FRONT LAWN to pee and poop is either A. socially acceptable B. Christian? Cause I am here to tell you: A. get your effing dogs out of my yard B. Jesus will smite you.
Yes. This really happened. I, earbuds in ears, step out to water my flowers to find my yard FULL of poodles – with their owner standing by her car in my front yard. She says something about “Tina Marie” being on my porch, indeed she is, and then I lose her after that. I am sure that she keeps talking to me, but alas – I have my earbuds in, and unless you want me to take them out and go “batshit, bug fuck, ham sandwich crazy” on you. You need to shut your pie hole, and get your freaking dogs out of my yard.
You would think, having the homeowner come out, ignore you, and give you serious stank face – would make you humbly pack your gang of dogs up, and move along. Oh, not this crazy God-lovin’ woman. She stood out there for another, oh, three minutes AFTER I went back inside. AND here is the kicker, she drove right on over to the church – where they have a lovely yard for peeing and pooping. Let’s use that shall we!
I decided to come up to the computer and vent, rather than scour the lawn for poop – that I could bag up and deposit on said crazy lady’s car (still not out of the question). What the Hell is wrong with people? I have half a notion to put a sign in my front lawn that reads, “Jesus gets upset when you let your dogs poop here.”
See Chrissy – this is what I have to deal with!!
May your day be filled with normal, sane, completely rational people.
Andrea
Yuk, yuk...we're in the process of creating un-neighborly landscaping (read: huge rocks and spiney shrubs) for this very reason. When confronted, our worst offender looked blankly at us and said, "I don't see why it's such a problem. Everyone else lets their dogs use our yard." Um, yeah. And thanks to her tit-for-tat response, had to distract Chris from following her home and peeing on her lawn.
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