Second Thoughts.

As some of you know, I raced a 30K on February 2nd.  It was a great race for me.  I completed it in my fastest time ever, I overcame obstacles that I didn't know where coming (dirt, gravel, steep embankments, totally wore the wrong shoes for this type of run), I even chased someone down (something I had given up in long distances).  I was so proud of myself for crossing that finish line - I had been working hard, and it paid off.

AND THEN... I got super sick - as in completely and totally dehydrated.  sick.sick.sick.sick.sick.  I didn't even want to eat the cookies I bought for the post race celebration.  (you know it's bad when...)

On the flight home that night I was having all sorts of thoughts - on a wide scale of emotions.  Finally, I turned to my dear friend, Anna, and said, "I'm not sure I want to be a distance runner anymore."  GASP!!!  She said, "whoa whoa whoa - just give yourself a week, and you'll be ready to run again."

I am not sure every runner has these doubting thoughts, and at the time I figured I was probably the only one.  I was the most horrible runner ever - thinking about turning her back on something that had given her so much.  But, I don't think I AM alone, and I am here to tell you those thoughts are okay!!

I did survive.  I am still a distance runner.  I will complete another marathon in May. 

Anna was right, I just needed to give myself a little distance between all the hurt and pain - and take some time to appreciate the accomplishment.  I look back on that race now as a HUGE accomplishment, give myself a big pat on the back, and lace up to run another day.

Here's to fighting through it all.