When I run the world.

Yes, you read that right "when" not "if" - you see I have super secret plans for the zombie apocalypse, and you'll all elect me madame president.

In other news...  given 5 rules to make, as said leader, what would mine be??  This make take a little more time and effort than I am prepared to put forth (as they change daily) but here are those on the top of my head.  To keep from offending the entire Universe - I'll leave my handy dandy examples out of these.

1.  If you get caught participating in hypocrisy of any kind - Face punches. 

2. I would automatically institute Fat Sunday (thanks, Becca) - anything and everything you eat on Sunday doesn't count, doesn't effect you, won't make you gain weight, won't hurt your tummy, nada.  It's magic.  Hooray for Fat Sunday.

3. You must dance daily.  No exceptions.

4.  When you make a statement of opinion that will be offensive, and you begin it with "no offense, but" - your ability to speak, write, type, or otherwise communicate will be removed for 24 hours.  Just don't be an ass.  Pretty simple.

5.  You will not be allowed to take yourself too seriously.  I understand that there are times in which we need to be adults, and be serious.  Of course there are serious things that effect the world.  However, if you can't let your guard down, laugh at yourself, smile at others, dance in the store, or smear oreos all around your mouth and ask if you have anything in your teeth - then, well, if you can't do that - magic will make you fart in public.

Now, as you can clearly see - when I am ruler the world will be a much better place.

Until then, carry on!!